Learning Love's Language

In our small group, we are doing Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." I realized tonight I am in for a challenge. Dan's primary love language is Acts of Service. I had a sneaking suspicion. Aghhhhh. Luckily, his number two is Words of Affirmation. That seems easier. Fortunately, there are many awesome things I can say about my husband.

Tuesday we have our group meeting where we will be discussing our "homework." I am definitely hoping to be graded on a curve. Now if I can just find the vacuum.

The problem with Acts of Service is that "regular cleaning" doesn't count. It is a given that the endless cycle of diapers, dishes, laundry, [insert Karina's mess] that goes on is just expected. Somehow I have to find a way to go above and beyond.

This past Father's Day we were supposed to go to a barbecue, and then Karina got a 102 degree fever. Needless to say, I didn't go without him. I also didn't feel right going out to eat later on with my father and leaving Dan at home.

So, maybe we'll declare a do-over Father's Day. That would include No. 3 = Quality time. Maybe I can get the hang of this yet.


Karina's present -- too cute! Well, my love language obviously includes gifts : )

06.07.08

Angela and Joe chose to marry on 06-07-08. They wanted it to be special, and I suppose, easy for Joe to remember!

I think it would be hard for anyone to forget their story. Joe, who always lives with one foot over the edge, found his bride-to-be Angela just a few short months before he went off to war. Even before he left, he knew. He left for Iraq (2nd tour) in April and they married in September. She flew to Rome on his R&R, and he proposed on the Spanish steps. They married in a double-proxy ceremony, cutting right through the red tape and wedding planning. She is now officially an army wife, and everything that comes with it.

I romanticize their relationship, but sometimes I forget about all the sacrifices that go with still being at war.

We flew out to Oklahoma City, where Joe is based, for the Christian ceremony and reception. It was as much of a reunion and homecoming as it was a wedding. Dan, being the best man, truly lived up to the honor. He picked out Angela's ring last year in time for Joe to propose in Italy. He also wrote and delivered the best, best man speech I have heard in a long time. He performed all his duties while dutifully chasing his sixteen month old daughter. So we were truly all together on 06.07.08.

One funny coincidence. At the Marriott in Red Brick downtown Oklahoma City, there happened to be an American Indian conference and parade all weekend. Across the street, the circus was in town as well. Elephants continually blocked traffic. It being OKC, we had several twisters coming too close for my comfort. But for Joe, who I think of as a cowboy, it was only fitting.

Dear Karina Love Mommy

Dear Karina,

It's been about six months since I wrote your last letter. I can't believe it's been that long since your first birthday!! Now I am going to cry.

Even though you are still my baby (we both know I will be calling you my baby long into your teenage years), you act like a toddler in every way. It is amazing to me how independent you are. From the moment you wake up, you want to do everything yourself. I thought it would be fun to take you through our typical day.

When you wake up, the first thing I do is change you. It is so funny to watch you grab the wipes out of the dispenser. Then you like to wipe your own behind. (Don't worry, I finish up to make sure we got it all).

Of course, you feed yourself. This started right at about six months old. You grabbed the spoon from me, and not much got in. Thankfully, over the months you have gotten much better at it! But, at the end of a typical morning you are still covered in your strawberry banana yogurt. I literally wipe your hair and in between your toes. Until we get it down, Dadda hoses the high chair off outside.

For obvious reasons, I wait until the last possible moment to dress you. As soon as I do, you have your shoes off. You are obsessed with shoes. I place a bow in your hair religiously every day. You pull it off. On, off. On, off. On off. We go round and round in a battle of mom vs. daughter will. I win. We are off to whatever it is we do that day.

At some point in the day, we go for a swim. Clothes, shoes, and bow-free you are in your element. You love getting rubbed in sunscreen -- you think it's a massage. You love watching the big kids swim and then try to copy them. A lot of the older girls try to grab/hold/play with you in the water.* They say "Hi!" and you say "Hi!" Then they say "What is your name?" and you say "Hi!" You desperately want to play with them. You can't wait. But I can. I hate how fast every stage goes and I am the mom that wants to hold tight, even though it's clear you are moving on every day.

At fifteen months on the dot, "we" went off the bottle. Cold turkey. For me, it marked the end of your true babyhood. It was a good, healthy thing for us to do for so many reasons. But, at the same time, it had been our own bonding time. You wanted to be held, and just as importantly, you held still. I thought I would be sad to lose the bonding time, but then something surprising happened to take its place.

At sixteen months you started hugging. Sometimes you want to hug every five minutes. You will run all around the house/yard, throwing rocks in the pond, and then suddenly you will stop like you forgot something. You will run to me, hug for 15-30 seconds, then resume your activity.


Also at sixteen months, you started calling me mamma.

Just so you know, you do hug and kiss your Dadda just as much. You also will kiss, but prefer to blow kisses, to those you don't know quite as well. You are very affectionate but also recognize your kisses have to be earned. We are hoping you carry this mentality into your dating years.

I know you will keep the surprises coming, and I can't wait to see what is around the corner.

Love always,
Mommy
xoxoxoxoxo

*The game they all want to play is "I am the mommy and you are my baby." So, Karina your part is pretty easy. I guess you aren't the only girl wanting to grow up fast!

Finding that special someONE

Brieon and I have been friends since ninth grade. I even remember when we met. In Mrs. Middleton's biology class she volunteered to dissect my dead pig. (Do they still do this?? I almost want to throw up now.) Not just help but actually do it. In all fairness, she was volunteering to do everyone's pig but I still consider it an act of kindness that I will truly never be able to repay.

After that, we were inseparable.

Fast forward 10 odd years later. I am about to be married to Dan, and Brieon is in my wedding. She has just started dating Ken. She doesn't invite him, because she wants to take it slow. (I am silently wondering if that means he isn't as into her. I know he has just moved to Atlanta and she has been instantly taken by him. True to her love of strangers, she has been showing him all around the city). No, she says I just really like this one. I wonder if that means this is the ONE.

Recently we had their engagement party at our house. I watched them mingle around with interest. While Brieon is an open book, talking to whoever is in her immediate vicinity, Ken is often watching her. It is immediately apparent how attentive he is. Ken, perhaps slower to warm up, strikes up his conversations more deliberately and intentionally.* It is very evident how well they balance and complete each other. Yes, I think. This is her ONE.

Congratulations Brieon & Ken!!

*If I do say so myself, Ken and I are alike in that way.